The Weekly Six – 5/14/10
3 min read
A quick hit on this week’s hottest topics: The Weekly Six. If you missed out on what’s been going on this week, tune in to read about the hottest topics on the net – or at least the hottest topics to us. This is your chance to feel free to agree or disagree. And without further ado, in no particular order, behold the six!
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Lebron Wears His War Wound Like A Crown
King James and the Cleveland Cavaliers got eliminated from the NBA playoffs yet again last night by the evil Boston Celtics. Many are accusing the Cavaliers of “quitting” last night but breaking news reports that Lebron James wasn’t actually playing last night. It has been discovered that he was replaced by the puppet Franklin from Arrested Development prior to game time.
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There Can Be Only One
A Libyan Afriqiyah Airways plane with 104 people on board crashed Wednesday killing 103. A 10-year-old Dutch boy survived the crash and was found on the ground strapped to his seat. Say what you will about the reasons, but it is clear that this kid will grow up to do extraordinary things, be he a Highlander, The One in the Matrix, or the next Dutch Idol. All kidding aside though, we’re grateful to see such a miracle amongst great tragedy.
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Don’t Wear A Blue Dress
Former President Bill Clinton is raffling himself off to help pay off Hillary’s remaining campaign debt. Those who add money to the coffers will have their name entered into the proverbial hat and could get picked to win a day out with Bill in New York. If you win, activities include taking in a burlesque show, grabbing some cheeseburgers, and lighting flaming bags of dog poo on Al Gore’s front porch.
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What’s Next, Golden Showers?
If you’re like me and you complain about the rising cost of soda in vending machines then you probably shouldn’t go to Dubai where they have just unveiled a machine that dispenses gold. Yep – gold flakes, gold bars, gold coins, golden grahams – you name it, if it’s made of gold you can get it just by putting in a few (thousand) bucks. I’m pretty sure this doesn’t affect my idea for a machine that dispenses products made entirely of malt liquor.
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Hug Me, Squeeze Me, Send Me To Darfur
Is your teddy bear worn out from being constantly humped by the family dog? Well now you can send him on holiday! Finnish company Teddy Tours Lapland will send your furry friend gallivanting along the Finnish countryside (activities include snowmobiling, ice fishing, and hanging out with Joulupukki the Yule Goat) and return him to you rested and ready for another round furry romance.
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Not A Waste Of Resources At All
Residents of Buffalo have banded together to create INAFJ.org, a group dedicated to finding jobs for themselves and others. Here’s an idea, take all that money you spent on billboard advertising for your NON-PROFIT group and spend it at Kinko’s printing out your resumes. Or maybe you could have used all that cash to start a real business. Or you could have dropped a whopping $6 and got a great career like this guy.
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