The Weekly Six – 5/21/10
4 min readA quick hit on this week’s hottest topics: The Weekly Six. If you missed out on what’s been going on this week, tune in to read about the hottest topics on the net – or at least the hottest topics to us. This is your chance to feel free to agree or disagree. And without further ado, in no particular order, behold the six!
_____________________________________________________________________
Apple Store Refused to Take Cash
It wouldn’t be C6M if we didn’t take the occasional jab at Apple or Steve Jobs. In the news this week, a little old lady saved her pennies for a brand new iPad only to be turned away after discovering that Apple had a no cash policy. Apple released a statement to say that the policy was an attempt to curtail piracy and unauthorized resellers from profiting off of the device. Apple has since changed its policy and will now allow for cash purchases of the iPad under the condition that new customers sign up for an account while still in the store. If you are purchasing under the previous policy of credit or debit only, you get to take your iPad home and do all of this yourself. I’m guessing that all of this really is to benefit little old ladies who wouldn’t know how to do this without an Apple genius to assist them. Thanks Apple!
_____________________________________________________________________
Gay Couple in Malawi Go to Prison
I’m not trying to advocate one way or another on whether or not it should be illegal to be gay in a foreign country. But I do know that this is one of those things that just doesn’t make sense anymore. Sending a gay couple to prison to do hard labor? Apparently this is what happens to you if you’re gay in Malawi. They send you to prison. My first question upon reading this was, where on earth is Malawi? And second, is prison really where you want to send men to stop them from being gay? I’m just saying, you should have thought this through Malawians.
_____________________________________________________________________
Megan Fox Is Not In The Next Transformers Movie
I know that there will be some people out there that will actually be sad for this. Fortunately, they’re all thirteen and will get over it by doubling their dose of watching the new movie in the Twilight series whenever that comes out again. I wish I could say something else about this, but the lady has toe thumbs and Transformers 2 was awful. Good luck Megan. We still think you’re beautiful.
_____________________________________________________________________
Viagra Could Double the Risk of Hearing Loss
There was a report out this week that read that taking Viagra could lead to hearing loss. But that’s not what was running through my mind. It was how much Viagra? Actually, whenever I think of Viagra, I think of Morpheus in the Matrix giving Neo a choice of taking either the red pill or the blue pill. “This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill – the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill – you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.” I guess if you were already taking the blue pill, you might have missed that part.
_____________________________________________________________________
Beer Belly Linked to Alzheimer’s Disease
According to a report by the BBC, there might be a link between Alzheimer’s Disease and the beer belly. This is one of those reports that really should be taken with a grain of salt and a little common sense. It’s sort of like saying that guns don’t kill people – people kill people. Or baby seals are really in danger of random bats to the head and not the guy using the bat. How about this one: maybe drinking beer could be the link to having the beer belly and not Alzheimer’s disease from the belly. I’m just saying. My belly never forgets when it’s time to eat.
____________________________________________________________________
We Didn’t Do It!
The official statement coming out of North Korea was that they didn’t sink the South Korean ship killing 46 sailors. The statement from North Korean national defense commission said, “Nevertheless, the group of traitors had far-fetchedly tried to link the case with us without offering any material evidence.” The torpedo parts discovered revealed the contrary. C6M recently got to sit down with puppet Kim Jong Il to ask him what he thought about the recent events.
C6M: Are these torpedo parts yours, Kim Jong-Il?
Kim Jong Il: I don’t see anything.
C6M: Are you sure?
Kim Jong Il: Yes.
C6M: Yes, you see it?
Kim Jong Il: Wait, what? Are you trying to confuse me???
C6M: Did you get that beer we sent you?
Kim Jong Il: I don’t remember.
C6M: Still taking Viagra?
Kim Jong Il: What?
C6M: Exactly.
____________________________________________________________________