The Weekly Six – 7/2/10
3 min read
A quick hit on this week’s hottest topics: The Weekly Six. If you missed out on what’s been going on this week, tune in to read about the hottest topics on the net – or at least the hottest topics to us. This is your chance to feel free to agree or disagree. And without further ado, in no particular order, behold the six!
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The Dog Doo Dispute
Apparently there are fighting words and then there is FIGHTING that leaves us with no words. What I have to know is what was said that would cause three men in Pennsylvania to assault an off duty police officer because no matter how you look at it, these guys were fighting over dog crap. Literally. The off duty police officer was fighting some drunk and belligerent guys because of dog crap. Wait…this was in Pennsylvania and that probably means that these guys were probably Phillies fans. Phillies fans are known from time to time to spontaneously vomit on one another or take pictures of their five year old taking a swig out of their beer bottle. Never mind Phillies fans, you’re off the hook…again.
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Genetic Finding Might Provide a Test for Longevity
Admittedly, when I first read this, I thought they were talking about a genetic test that showed why some people lasted longer in the sack. No. Not the case at all. But there was a test that was conducted that isolated a gene that might predict how old you will live to be. Given that my attention span didn’t care enough to read the article further than the headline let me just say…do we really care that now there’s a test that can accurately predict that there’s a seventy-seven percent likelihood that some of us will live to reach one hundred? Some of us will still want to know the answer to the first sentence and then follow that up with why not me?
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Going for Number 12
The Zen Master Phil Jackson has decided to come back to coach one last season in attempt to get championship ring number 12. That number is unreal in the sporting world second only to the number of women former Laker Wilt Chamberlain claimed to have slept with – that number? 10,000. You think you’re cool Phil? You’ve got nothing on Wilt’s other record either of 5,000 – number of trips Wilt made to the clinic for a shot of penicillin. Let’s face it, Wilt was nasty.
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The Terminator Attacking Budget
Schwarzenegger orders that all state employees earn minimum wage (again) until California lawmakers can agree on a budget for the next fiscal year. The last time the California governor did this he succeeded in reducing the wages of its state employees for months until the lawmakers hammered out a budget that included borrowing against bonds to recoup the shortfall and farming out state employees to fast food joints because lets face it, without the higher salaries that government jobs sometimes offer, earning 8 bucks an hour and getting yelled out by crack heads is a lot easier to take if you get to offer them a free side order off the dollar menu. So if you work for the state, at least there’s that to look forward to this time as well.
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Toy Story 3 Bombs…in Russia
After setting all kinds of marks for astronomical ticket sales in the domestic and foreign markets, the numbers are in from Russia and their 10 day total is 4.8 million dollars. This was a confusing number until Pixar executives were reminded of one thing…this used to pass for entertainment in Russia.
Enough said.
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Team Edward/Team Jacob Set Box Office Record
If you’re a fan of the Twilight series then you’re most likely in one of two categories, preteen girl or middle aged house wife. In either case, you’re probably also the first to stand in line taking part in the record setting Wednesday where these vampires were glistening. Wait, glistening? Vampires don’t freakin’ glisten in the sun! If there are indeed signs of the Apocalypse this certainly should be one of them. Glistening…next thing you’ll tell me is that vampires play baseball. WTH? That’s it, I’m leaving…
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