The Weekly Six – 9/24/10

A quick hit on this week’s hottest topics: The Weekly Six. If you missed out on what’s been going on this week, tune in to read about the hottest topics on the net – or at least the hottest topics to us. This is your chance to feel free to agree or disagree. And without further ado, in no particular order, behold the six!

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Katy Perry & Elmo Duet

A video of Katy Perry and Elmo singing together that was slated to run during the  upcoming season of Sesame Street has been pulled due to complaints about Perry’s cleavage and Elmo posting up around the hem of her dress like a dirty little red monkey. Strangely, no one complained that Elmo doesn’t wear any pants. Kids will just have to settle now for Bert & Ernie, the same old gay puppet couple that they’ve been watching for the past 40 years.

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Eff You, Billy Mitchell!

Steve Wiebe, whose quest to be overlord of Donkey Kong was chronicled in the amazing documentary The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters, has finally reigned supreme over the barrel throwing ape by posting a record setting score of 1,064,500. He thanked his wife, first and foremost, for putting up with him during his years of DK fanaticism. Ironically, she was later kidnapped by a gorilla.

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Sir Mix-a-Lot: Modern Day Nostradamus

The Paris based Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development (OECD) released its first ever obesity forecast and stated that the United States would be leading the world in chubmonkeys by the year 2020 when 75% of its population will be classified as “overweight.” Furthermore, they announced that America will also be the most ravaged nation in the forthcoming Zombie Apocalypse as US citizens lack the strict regime of cardio necessary to surviving an onslaught of the undead.

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You Are Using Bonetti’s Defense Against Me, Eh?

A Montana woman was attacked by a black bear early Thursday and fought him off with the most ultimate power in the universe – a footlong zucchini. The bear was originally attacking her dog when she ran out her back door and challenged the beast, who then turned on her. The woman received some scratches in the tussle but the bear left with the more grievous injury – the shame of being bested by a vegetable.

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The Next Best Thing To Being Frozen In Carbonite

It’s the Boba Fett Plush Rocket Backpack and it can now belong to you your kid! All your necessities can be hauled around in this quintessential Mandalorian carryall. You can even use the Jet Tubes to hide cans of bee…soda. This coolness can be all yours for only $50. Lust to avenge father’s beheading and Sarlaac not included.

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Such A Fine Line Between Clever And Stupid

You remember how it was. Going to the local arena for the big rock show…the stage lights up and the band is rocking out, a wall of powerful amps behind them filling the room with metal glory. Well it turns out we were most likely duped. The picture below captured the band Immortal using fake amps as a backdrop and it seems that this is more the rule than the exception. What’s next? Is the armadillo in your trousers nothing but the zucchini we mentioned earlier?????