Navigating The World Of Online Dating
5 min read
In early January, I signed up for something that I had previously, at some point or another, poked fun at. It wasn’t anything harsh or belittling – just a simple point-and-laugh and then move on to the next joke. The recipient of the laughs was an online dating site. The jest was made when a friend of mine told a few stories about his experiences with them. Here’s where it gets interesting, however. The following night, after some moderate alcoholic intake, the idea to join a certain online site trickled through my thought processes and seemed like a great idea! Below are some experiences on my online dating experience and the pros and cons of it all.
It started innocently in joining the online dating community. I quickly understood that meeting girls my age with similar goals and aspirations and religious preferences isn’t the easiest thing in the world to make happen. And after some coaxing from a friend of mine, I realized that there’s really not too much to frown upon. So I signed up and within the first week I had setup a meeting with a girl. The site I chose (which I’ll keep unnamed, for marketing bias purposes) has you take a personality test and has you choose some important preferences for a match. Things such as the frequencies of smoking, drinking, and sex are questioned. It even asks what, if any, religious preferences one might have. I setup my profile based on some things that I personally believe in and went from there. The first date I had was fantastic. I actually ended up dating the girl for about two weeks until we mutually decided that we should remain friends. Totally cool scenario. If your intentions are in the right place it can be a win-win. The worst thing that can happen (induced date drugs notwithstanding) is that you have a new friend.
I signed up for the bare minimum monthly plan and it’s coming to an end here pretty soon. It’s been quite an experience, but nothing has gone too awry and no one’s feelings have been hurt as far as I know. I went on a handful of dates and, at the very least, I can say that I treated the girls with respect and a good meal. All in all – an interesting but cool experience, no doubt. Here are some pros and cons of online dating however, that I will point out if you are reading this and wondering if online dating is for you or not.
Pros:
-It gives you a weekly average of twenty-five matches to look through. Variety is totally dependent on your preferences and for the most part, it’s accurate with who you are.
-It gives you something to do. Most people enjoy getting out and doing something. Take advantage of this and ask a match of yours to grab coffee with you.
-It beats picking up a girl at the bar that you don’t really know. And it also beats trying to find a way to pick up a girl at church and not seem creepy or irreverent.
-It allows you to see that there are in fact, other females out there in your city that aren’t one of your exes.
-It gives you a sense of purpose to impress them that, perhaps, they are who you looking for. And that maybe you’ll be one of those success story examples that the company makes a commercial about.
Cons:
-It gives you some cute girls and lots of no-so-cute girls, which can be disconcerting. Sorry ladies. Sifting through these can get monotonous, because on the whole, you’re going to want to pursue a match that you are physically attracted to.
-It gives you a false representation of who the girl might be. She might put up a picture of herself in a cheesy high school portrait where her hand is on her chin and she was 25 pounds lighter. And she might also put down things about her that seem a little off when you go on a date with her. Just be honest, put up a nice picture of yourself and don’t lie.
-It gives you the opportunity to play silly games by employing generic questions and generic icebreakers to send. Just go on and email the girl and get right to it. She’ll appreciate the no-nonsense approach and might even take you up on that date you’ve got planned from consulting the Google machine.
-It gives you too many people to go through and you can get behind if you don’t check it regularly. It can also get annoying if you have your settings set to emails when you receive a match. My advice – stay organized, check it once or twice a day, and take off the emails if it’s going to get lost in all of the facebook notifications.
-It gives you the privilege of having to be a jerk. Ladies, nothing is more annoying when you constantly email and send little notices to us to get back to you. Remember that chivalry is not dead for some of us, and most of guys like to be the one who pursues you first. Sometimes when you get a girl like that, ignoring her won’t work and you have to be the jerk and email her and say, “No thanks.”
Would I do it again? Sure, I suppose. If your intentions are in the right place and you’re not replacing it with actually talking to girls in real life, it can come in handy when life gets too busy to have the time to meet people. Is it worth the price? That I’m not sure about because I have nothing to really compare it to. I don’t plan on it becoming a regular bill, however. But did you meet a match that I’m still with? The answer to this is currently no. And life still goes on and I’m still the happy dude I was once before I joined.
