Honor Thy Father
4 min read
The command “Honor Thy Father and Thy Mother,” appears in the Bible, in that structure, a total of ten times. The number seven, as most church-going and Bible-reading individuals know, is a significant number in the Bible. It occurs 287 times in the Bible. Another significant number, however, is ten. It signifies the perfection of the Divine Order. Number significances and divine orders aside however – the command “Honor Thy Father and Thy Mother” might be the most important command that is the hardest to abide by. I’ll explain.
Up until my sixth grade year in junior high, I believed I was one of the kids that “Came from a great family.” I had a dad, a mom, and a sister. We were more or less, middle-class, church going, happy, and inhabited a home of love that felt right, for all intents and purposes. However, during my sixth grade year, my mother informed my sister and I that “rocked my world,” as it would for any pre-teen, brought something to my attention. My dad was a drug addict.
Drugs? You mean. . . real drugs? The kind that my D.A.R.E. shirt is about? What kind? When does he do this? These were some of the many questions fumbling around in my head. I was a sheltered kid from the Bible belt of North Carolina. My family and I went to church that had a choir and sung hymns. Dancing wasn’t condemned, but it wasn’t exactly promoted either. Our lives seemed in the truest form of the word – normal. So why was Dad on drugs? Are you positive? How do you know?
It’s terribly hard to fathom these things as a junior high kid in a Christian school. I can’t think of one student in my class that mentioned drugs in the form of engaging in them or offering them to me. I was obviously sheltered, but more appropriately, living in a setting where drugs weren’t available or discussed often. So, as expected, I just zoned out the latter half of my sixth grade year. I was despondent towards my mother, sister, and friends. I knew what adultery was, because that was in the Bible. But drugs? I couldn’t remember a time I was ever exposed to them or having seen the effects of them. But, as time went by, I noticed something different from my dad. He knew we knew his secret and he wasn’t prepared or qualified enough to know how to handle and sustain our family. My parents divorced that summer.
Two years later my mother remarried a wonderful man, who had never been married. I tell people all the time, when asked how my step dad is to me and my sister growing up, that he was a Godsend. My respect, love and appreciation grow every day for my step dad. It’s a blessing to know a man, who, besides never being married, stepped into a family as a head of a household, ‘adopted’ two teenagers as his own, having no parenting experience, and loved my mother as his wife and soul mate. It’s a beautiful thing to look back on and reflect.
Honoring him was a walk in the park. I can’t ever think of a time my step dad has done anything hurtful to my mom or my sister and I. Sure, he’s a sinner like the rest of us, but the man, as I said, being a “Godsend,” has a heart of gold and I thank the Lord every day for his coming into our lives. Sending him Father’s Day cards and calling him and thanking him for all he’s done has never been a tough task. But my real dad? That’s where the ten times the phrase, “Honor Thy Father and Thy Mother” hits me and I think – I’m still commanded to honor him no matter what.
I’m not an angry person. I don’t hold grudges nor do I have a mean streak, in the most general sense. But I’m a bit of an “ignorer,” if you will, certain circumstances. I said earlier that I “zoned out” after my parents split. This didn’t stop going into high school and college. My relationship with my dad has always been a weird one to explain. I truly in my heart, have moved passed the hurt that I experienced as a kid, which is good; yet, I still didn’t follow the command of honoring very well. But it’s something I work on every day. I love my dad. But I love him in an “I love everybody” sense. It’s hard to honor someone you don’t daily interact with and you don’t see on a consistent basis. But, as someone who aims to obey the commands from the Lord – I’m working on it and getting there.
I don’t really have any sage advice for anyone who’s had a similar upbringing and still finds it a struggle to honor their father. The only thing I can say, from a Biblical perspective, is that we should do it out of a heart of obedience to God. Who has blessed us with this life and allowed us to partake in his creation and feel alive and well. Honor your father, as unto the Lord.
